The big news from this week was that Blaine lost his job. He called me Thursday afternoon to let me know that his company was closing the doors and shutting down. It was a pretty big deal since the gaming studio is part of Sony Online. They shut down 4 small studios in different states to consolidate the business in California.
I know it was a huge surprise and devastating to many of his coworkers... so is it terrible that I'm so happy?
Honestly it's the best thing that could have happened for us and the timing is absolutely perfect!
The job had him working EVERY weekend last year. He literally had 4 weekends off in 2010 and there were many weeknights he'd stay past 1am or not be able to come home at all. It was grueling! I missed him so much, but I didn't want to encourage him to quit... but I was getting nervous since I couldn't imagine how we were going to juggle a baby into that schedule.
We just kept our heads down, held our breath and somehow the problem just solved itself. That damned pink slip was the best present we've received yet.
He received a decent severance and will be able to collect unemployment while staying home with me for my entire maternity leave. I'm so excited he's going to be here to help and to enjoy his son during these first few months. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm not worried. I'm really confident everything is going to work out and we'll be fine.
He's so happy and calm now. He's been puttering around the house just tidying up, stocking the freezers, relaxing and just enjoying these last few days of quiet waiting. It's pure bliss! I'm so happy and calm now.
Had a wonderful day yesterday. Did a photo shoot of my gorgeous co-worker in the morning then spent the afternoon with friends who were visiting to deliver an incredible handmade preset (more on that later... deserves it's own post). Then took time out to hit the nail salon with my sister and my friend Sarah to get a mani/pedi (first one I've ever had) before treating them to dessert at yogurt land. Topped it all off with an evening spent listening to good friends swap stories well into the night while Bob played the guitar and I retouched photos and we giggled about my pudgy pink toes.
PERFECT.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
More belly shots
(week 39)
I really wish I had more models doing these for me.
Its been really fun, but it's so hard to get the lighting right when I'm the model and I get a little tired of looking at so many shots of myself.
Again... beware - I'm not shy.
I really wish I had more models doing these for me.
Its been really fun, but it's so hard to get the lighting right when I'm the model and I get a little tired of looking at so many shots of myself.
Again... beware - I'm not shy.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Countdown
(week 39)
Cruising right along! We are all prepped now and things seems to be progressing right on time.
Baby is bouncing around like a little gymnast and has become my main source of evening entertainment. There just aren't many opportunities in life to look down and watch your belly roll and bulge with the motion of an on-board alien. Pretty intense.
I was surprised to get the report from my doctor this morning that I'm dilated 1cm. It's not much and doesn't really mean anything exciting at this point, but I didn't expect I'd dilate at all before labor. It's reassuring to learn that all the wild Braxton Hicks I've been feeling are actually somewhat productive.
I'll take pictures again this week... still don't feel like I look any different, but Blaine can't look at me without his eyes bulging wide and getting a goofy grin on his face, so perhaps the belly is worth sharing again :)
Cruising right along! We are all prepped now and things seems to be progressing right on time.
Baby is bouncing around like a little gymnast and has become my main source of evening entertainment. There just aren't many opportunities in life to look down and watch your belly roll and bulge with the motion of an on-board alien. Pretty intense.
I was surprised to get the report from my doctor this morning that I'm dilated 1cm. It's not much and doesn't really mean anything exciting at this point, but I didn't expect I'd dilate at all before labor. It's reassuring to learn that all the wild Braxton Hicks I've been feeling are actually somewhat productive.
I'll take pictures again this week... still don't feel like I look any different, but Blaine can't look at me without his eyes bulging wide and getting a goofy grin on his face, so perhaps the belly is worth sharing again :)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Butthead
(Week 37)
I've been saying since Thanksgiving that this little guy tap is dancing on my cervix and while a wiggles and wobbles a bit, he has seemed to be anything but head down. I asked our birthing instructor what exercises and positions I should try to encourage him to turn when I found out that he should be settling head down about week 30. I even talked to two of my doctors about it and asked if they could tell where his head was. One half-heartedly probed my belly at 32 weeks and said, "It's hard to say, he could be head up but he's just going to move around anyway". At 34 weeks I saw a different doctor in the practice who probed by belly unprompted and stated "I could be wrong, but I think he may be breech, let's order an ultrasound for your next appointment".
So I brought Blaine with me to the 36wk appointment because I was convinced we were breech and figured we'd need to talk to the doctor about our options. Before the ultrasound I asked the doctor to feel around and guess what was what since we'd been playing the guessing game for weeks. She gets a puzzled look on her face and says "I'm usually really good at this, but in this case it's really hard to tell. It's almost like your baby has two butts. -silly grin- Do you have names picked out yet, because Butthead might work." I lost it in a fit a giggles, Blaine became very quiet and didn't really talk the rest of the visit. Apparently her lack of professionalism didn't sit well with him.
Turned out I was wrong about my guesses on which bits were what, but I was right about the fact that we were indeed breech. Our options were to schedule a C-section at 39 weeks and wait and see if he turned by then, or attempt an external version procedure to try to turn the baby at 37 weeks which could result in an emergency C-section, but if successful could allow us to carry to full term and attempt a natural birth.
Seeing as how the biggest risk seemed to an early C-section which was also to outcome if we didn't do anything I opted to try the version.
The next 7 days were just a blur. We went on a whirlwind shopping spree trying to ensure we had all the necessary essentials just in case we were bringing home baby in a week. We also did our best to wrap things up at work as much as possible. It was stressful and exhausting, but in the end I had the bags all packed and the nursery.. well... at least stocked with diapers before we headed to the hospital.
(I'm opting to omit my two-headed baby dream, but you can imagine it was a bit disturbing)
Blaine was nervous and worried for me. He'd talked to his coworkers and the three that had gone through this procedure all ended giving birth that day and said it was painful and they'd never attempt it again. Maybe I was being naive, but I just wasn't worried. I figured that any pain couldn't be worse than labor and delivery and if we delivered that day, well that just meant I didn't have to endure any more the oh so comfortable ninth month. I just didn't see any horrific down side.
Thursday March 17th (St. Patrick's Day) : We checked into the maternity ward all decked out in green and grinning ear to ear. I got strapped with monitors to check the baby for about an hour and hooked up to an I.V. then my doctor showed up. She checked everything out on the ultrasound, lubed up my belly and got ready to start.
I grabbed her hands, looked her straight in the eye and said "Now, your good at this right?". She was a bit taken aback, but then smiled and reassured me that she was, although she warned us that baby may be stubborn and my pain threshold could be limiting as well. I made her promise me not to be a hero and force anything that could hurt the baby then I popped in my ear buds and lay back to relax with Graceland as my soundtrack.
Blaine held my hand and watched as the doctor kneaded by belly like pizza dough until she had hold of baby's head and butt then started massaging him around in a circle. It was uncomfortable but I was able to breathe through it. Unfortunately baby jut wasn't having any of it. She turned him back to where he was and got set to try again clockwise. I asked for extra lube and the she dove in again. This time she got him half way then had the nurse hold him in place while she took a break reset her grip and started again. I won't lie - it was intense. We started shouting at baby "come on little bugger" "you can do it" "almost there baby". That got us around the corner then he just slipped into place. My doctor raised a hand and I gave her slimy hand a high five.
It had hurt, but no worse than a brutal back massage or a bad case of the stomach flu and it only lasted a few minutes. More importantly IT WORKED! The toughest part was the side effects from the meds they gave me to relax the uterus to keep me from having contractions. That stuff had me shaking like a leaf. It had been extra hard trying to relax with my lips shivering and teeth chattering, but that wore off in about an hour and as I felt better baby started wiggling up a storm and his heart rate improved with mine.
We were released with instructions to count his movements closely and watch for signs of early labor then we headed out to a pub and met a big pile of friends to celebrate the rest of St. Pats.
Now, a few days later I'm happy to say that I really feel much better, and best of all I CAN WALK AGAIN! Apparently he had been sitting on my pelvis at some awkward angle and that's what had been causing the painful waddling limp I'd been preforming for about 6 weeks. The only down side, is now that he seems to fit a bit better, he's taking full advantage and stretching his limbs, and wiggling all his little fingers and toes all the time. It's reassuring, but it's completely distracting and occasionally exhausting. I'm having trouble focusing on anything beyond my dancing belly.
But, it won't be long now! Only two weeks to my due date so no matter what happens now, this part should all be over within a month. Then the world gives me full permission to focus 100% on this little guy for at least 3 months.
I've been saying since Thanksgiving that this little guy tap is dancing on my cervix and while a wiggles and wobbles a bit, he has seemed to be anything but head down. I asked our birthing instructor what exercises and positions I should try to encourage him to turn when I found out that he should be settling head down about week 30. I even talked to two of my doctors about it and asked if they could tell where his head was. One half-heartedly probed my belly at 32 weeks and said, "It's hard to say, he could be head up but he's just going to move around anyway". At 34 weeks I saw a different doctor in the practice who probed by belly unprompted and stated "I could be wrong, but I think he may be breech, let's order an ultrasound for your next appointment".
So I brought Blaine with me to the 36wk appointment because I was convinced we were breech and figured we'd need to talk to the doctor about our options. Before the ultrasound I asked the doctor to feel around and guess what was what since we'd been playing the guessing game for weeks. She gets a puzzled look on her face and says "I'm usually really good at this, but in this case it's really hard to tell. It's almost like your baby has two butts. -silly grin- Do you have names picked out yet, because Butthead might work." I lost it in a fit a giggles, Blaine became very quiet and didn't really talk the rest of the visit. Apparently her lack of professionalism didn't sit well with him.
Turned out I was wrong about my guesses on which bits were what, but I was right about the fact that we were indeed breech. Our options were to schedule a C-section at 39 weeks and wait and see if he turned by then, or attempt an external version procedure to try to turn the baby at 37 weeks which could result in an emergency C-section, but if successful could allow us to carry to full term and attempt a natural birth.
Seeing as how the biggest risk seemed to an early C-section which was also to outcome if we didn't do anything I opted to try the version.
The next 7 days were just a blur. We went on a whirlwind shopping spree trying to ensure we had all the necessary essentials just in case we were bringing home baby in a week. We also did our best to wrap things up at work as much as possible. It was stressful and exhausting, but in the end I had the bags all packed and the nursery.. well... at least stocked with diapers before we headed to the hospital.
(I'm opting to omit my two-headed baby dream, but you can imagine it was a bit disturbing)
Blaine was nervous and worried for me. He'd talked to his coworkers and the three that had gone through this procedure all ended giving birth that day and said it was painful and they'd never attempt it again. Maybe I was being naive, but I just wasn't worried. I figured that any pain couldn't be worse than labor and delivery and if we delivered that day, well that just meant I didn't have to endure any more the oh so comfortable ninth month. I just didn't see any horrific down side.
Thursday March 17th (St. Patrick's Day) : We checked into the maternity ward all decked out in green and grinning ear to ear. I got strapped with monitors to check the baby for about an hour and hooked up to an I.V. then my doctor showed up. She checked everything out on the ultrasound, lubed up my belly and got ready to start.
I grabbed her hands, looked her straight in the eye and said "Now, your good at this right?". She was a bit taken aback, but then smiled and reassured me that she was, although she warned us that baby may be stubborn and my pain threshold could be limiting as well. I made her promise me not to be a hero and force anything that could hurt the baby then I popped in my ear buds and lay back to relax with Graceland as my soundtrack.
Blaine held my hand and watched as the doctor kneaded by belly like pizza dough until she had hold of baby's head and butt then started massaging him around in a circle. It was uncomfortable but I was able to breathe through it. Unfortunately baby jut wasn't having any of it. She turned him back to where he was and got set to try again clockwise. I asked for extra lube and the she dove in again. This time she got him half way then had the nurse hold him in place while she took a break reset her grip and started again. I won't lie - it was intense. We started shouting at baby "come on little bugger" "you can do it" "almost there baby". That got us around the corner then he just slipped into place. My doctor raised a hand and I gave her slimy hand a high five.
It had hurt, but no worse than a brutal back massage or a bad case of the stomach flu and it only lasted a few minutes. More importantly IT WORKED! The toughest part was the side effects from the meds they gave me to relax the uterus to keep me from having contractions. That stuff had me shaking like a leaf. It had been extra hard trying to relax with my lips shivering and teeth chattering, but that wore off in about an hour and as I felt better baby started wiggling up a storm and his heart rate improved with mine.
We were released with instructions to count his movements closely and watch for signs of early labor then we headed out to a pub and met a big pile of friends to celebrate the rest of St. Pats.
Now, a few days later I'm happy to say that I really feel much better, and best of all I CAN WALK AGAIN! Apparently he had been sitting on my pelvis at some awkward angle and that's what had been causing the painful waddling limp I'd been preforming for about 6 weeks. The only down side, is now that he seems to fit a bit better, he's taking full advantage and stretching his limbs, and wiggling all his little fingers and toes all the time. It's reassuring, but it's completely distracting and occasionally exhausting. I'm having trouble focusing on anything beyond my dancing belly.
But, it won't be long now! Only two weeks to my due date so no matter what happens now, this part should all be over within a month. Then the world gives me full permission to focus 100% on this little guy for at least 3 months.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Zoom Zoom
(Weeks 34-36)
Sorry for the lack of postings these last few weeks, apparently being a grown-up means being busy! I have no idea what happened to the last 3 weeks!
Where do I start...
These days everyone watching me waddle around with my silly little limp and fixed grimace seem quick to sympathize and offer words of encouragement like "not long now" or "almost there".
I always get the same questions in the elevator...
"How are you feeling?" "When are you due again?" "Are you sleeping alright."
I've learned not to answer these honestly and started making a game out of how to respond. Often I just smile with a weary frozen grin that says... "I'll spare you the details" but other times it's more just fun to be sarcastic like "Why do you ask? Damn... I knew this dress made me look pregnant!" or "I've still got more than 8 months to go - my Doctor thinks I might set a record".
The truth is I'm still doing as well as can be expected and I'm lucky enough to be sleeping fine. The toughest thing (besides dragging myself out of bed for my third pee of the night) has been work. I got saddled with a double load when a coworker left on medical leave and have been stuck working long hours ever since. It's draining and has left little time for fun things like blogging or practical things like laundry or taxes... but the blessing is it is making this time pass quickly.
In the past three weeks I've managed to assemble 2 strollers, a bookshelf, and convertible chair. I've also called in the troops and gotten help fixing the electrical issues, painting the nursery (green & orange), as well as generally cleaning house and organizing to make as much space as possible.
It's been a whirlwind!
Sorry for the lack of postings these last few weeks, apparently being a grown-up means being busy! I have no idea what happened to the last 3 weeks!
Where do I start...
These days everyone watching me waddle around with my silly little limp and fixed grimace seem quick to sympathize and offer words of encouragement like "not long now" or "almost there".
I always get the same questions in the elevator...
"How are you feeling?" "When are you due again?" "Are you sleeping alright."
I've learned not to answer these honestly and started making a game out of how to respond. Often I just smile with a weary frozen grin that says... "I'll spare you the details" but other times it's more just fun to be sarcastic like "Why do you ask? Damn... I knew this dress made me look pregnant!" or "I've still got more than 8 months to go - my Doctor thinks I might set a record".
The truth is I'm still doing as well as can be expected and I'm lucky enough to be sleeping fine. The toughest thing (besides dragging myself out of bed for my third pee of the night) has been work. I got saddled with a double load when a coworker left on medical leave and have been stuck working long hours ever since. It's draining and has left little time for fun things like blogging or practical things like laundry or taxes... but the blessing is it is making this time pass quickly.
In the past three weeks I've managed to assemble 2 strollers, a bookshelf, and convertible chair. I've also called in the troops and gotten help fixing the electrical issues, painting the nursery (green & orange), as well as generally cleaning house and organizing to make as much space as possible.
It's been a whirlwind!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
All Grown Up
(Week 32)
I once thought achieving "grown-up" status was as simple as moving out and signing your first rental agreement. I always looked forward to my 30th birthday because I imagined that by then I would have acquired grace and poise. When it came to parenthood, I assumed all those parents around me were just more mature and put together than me. Turns out I was wrong. They are just people with kids and sometimes they are just as big a kid themselves.
I've been in a few situations now when I'm in a public place with crying babies and someone will look me dead in the eye and say "Are you ready for that"?
Truth is, I'm not "ready" and I'm never gonna be, but I'll adapt, I'll cope and I'll get by just fine.
We just finished a birthing class at the hospital and I found it amusing that I was able to come to grips with my fears of labor and delivery pretty easily, but when they briefly covered infant care I literally broke out in a cold sweat. When everyone was watching the videos of the newborn homecomings with excitement and giddiness I was starting to employ some of our new pain management techniques to go to my 'happy place' and avoid the 'fear cycle'.
It will be fine, I know I'll figure it out, but there is no preparing for this bit, it's just diving in a doing.
I don't have baby dreams.
Instead I still have high octane adventure dreams of complex plots in exotic lands, but no baby dreams. I think it's just because I have zero experience to draw from. I have NO idea what to expect and no expectations for what it may be like, but I do seem to be preparing myself for a fast paced adventure filled with pitfalls and split second decisions.
Maybe I should add a fedora and bullwhip to my baby registry, too bad no one would get the joke but me... and maybe you now :)
So, for now I've set aside the library of baby books and decided to focus on what I can do to cater to my nesting instinct. For me apparently this means investing in wood furniture and a Mazda CX9. I'm really excited! I may not know how to burp this kid, but I'm confident he'll have a nice dresser that should last a lifetime, a TV center that he can't get into, and a car big enough to hold him, our dog, and all of our camping gear!
This all calms me by making me feel a bit more grown-up and prepared even though it really is just a state of mind.
I once thought achieving "grown-up" status was as simple as moving out and signing your first rental agreement. I always looked forward to my 30th birthday because I imagined that by then I would have acquired grace and poise. When it came to parenthood, I assumed all those parents around me were just more mature and put together than me. Turns out I was wrong. They are just people with kids and sometimes they are just as big a kid themselves.
I've been in a few situations now when I'm in a public place with crying babies and someone will look me dead in the eye and say "Are you ready for that"?
Truth is, I'm not "ready" and I'm never gonna be, but I'll adapt, I'll cope and I'll get by just fine.
We just finished a birthing class at the hospital and I found it amusing that I was able to come to grips with my fears of labor and delivery pretty easily, but when they briefly covered infant care I literally broke out in a cold sweat. When everyone was watching the videos of the newborn homecomings with excitement and giddiness I was starting to employ some of our new pain management techniques to go to my 'happy place' and avoid the 'fear cycle'.
It will be fine, I know I'll figure it out, but there is no preparing for this bit, it's just diving in a doing.
I don't have baby dreams.
Instead I still have high octane adventure dreams of complex plots in exotic lands, but no baby dreams. I think it's just because I have zero experience to draw from. I have NO idea what to expect and no expectations for what it may be like, but I do seem to be preparing myself for a fast paced adventure filled with pitfalls and split second decisions.
Maybe I should add a fedora and bullwhip to my baby registry, too bad no one would get the joke but me... and maybe you now :)
So, for now I've set aside the library of baby books and decided to focus on what I can do to cater to my nesting instinct. For me apparently this means investing in wood furniture and a Mazda CX9. I'm really excited! I may not know how to burp this kid, but I'm confident he'll have a nice dresser that should last a lifetime, a TV center that he can't get into, and a car big enough to hold him, our dog, and all of our camping gear!
This all calms me by making me feel a bit more grown-up and prepared even though it really is just a state of mind.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I have the dumb
(week 31)
For months people have been making jokes about 'pregnesia' and 'baby brain' and I've just laughed because forgetfulness and lack of attention are just a way of life for me. Sure, it's nice to have an excuse why I've lost my keys, misplaced my wallet, forgotten my phone or left my purse behind - but that's just me on a good day. On a bad day I misplace my snowboard, leave my camera on a rock, completely lose my car and forget where I left my dog.
What has been regrettably obvious for weeks though is my new talent for dropping things. It's really a cruel side effect. Seems as though right when bending over to pick things up became virtually impossible, I began dropping just about everything I touched. Ir's not just drop either, it's more like things launch out of my hand as if there is some sort of eject button hidden in my palm.
I woke up a few days ago with the alarm clock blaring and launched it off the nightstand when I tried to shut it off, then dropped the glass of water as I reached out to take a sip, pulled the lamp over when I tried to turn it on and managed to knock over all the books as I tried to get up to clean up the mess. This is typical! I was always a bit clumsy and absent minded but now I'm a slapstick comedy routine.
I thought all this was bad enough, but over the last few days - it happened... the baby ate my brain!
I suddenly lost all my energy, started napping again and suddenly got DUMB!
I really didn't think I could get any worse, but I DID! It's completely mortifying. At work I'm scheduling meetings for things we did the day before and accusing people of neglecting to loop me in on things we just met about. I feel like an Alzheimer's patient roaming the halls and I'm a friggin Project Manager!!! Everyone is looking to me to tell them what to do next and I don't know what day it is or what what we just did!!!
Ugh.
Luckily I have spent years developing systems to allow me to thrive in my forgetfulness. So, I already have tools in place to help me function. Unfortunately I seem to have lost the ability to seem collected and put together in front of coworkers and strangers. Now the checklists, sticky notes, alerts and alarms that use to help me save face are just enough to keep me from failing completely as I blunder along.
*sigh*
For months people have been making jokes about 'pregnesia' and 'baby brain' and I've just laughed because forgetfulness and lack of attention are just a way of life for me. Sure, it's nice to have an excuse why I've lost my keys, misplaced my wallet, forgotten my phone or left my purse behind - but that's just me on a good day. On a bad day I misplace my snowboard, leave my camera on a rock, completely lose my car and forget where I left my dog.
What has been regrettably obvious for weeks though is my new talent for dropping things. It's really a cruel side effect. Seems as though right when bending over to pick things up became virtually impossible, I began dropping just about everything I touched. Ir's not just drop either, it's more like things launch out of my hand as if there is some sort of eject button hidden in my palm.
I woke up a few days ago with the alarm clock blaring and launched it off the nightstand when I tried to shut it off, then dropped the glass of water as I reached out to take a sip, pulled the lamp over when I tried to turn it on and managed to knock over all the books as I tried to get up to clean up the mess. This is typical! I was always a bit clumsy and absent minded but now I'm a slapstick comedy routine.
I thought all this was bad enough, but over the last few days - it happened... the baby ate my brain!
I suddenly lost all my energy, started napping again and suddenly got DUMB!
I really didn't think I could get any worse, but I DID! It's completely mortifying. At work I'm scheduling meetings for things we did the day before and accusing people of neglecting to loop me in on things we just met about. I feel like an Alzheimer's patient roaming the halls and I'm a friggin Project Manager!!! Everyone is looking to me to tell them what to do next and I don't know what day it is or what what we just did!!!
Ugh.
I have the dumb and it is mighty!
Luckily I have spent years developing systems to allow me to thrive in my forgetfulness. So, I already have tools in place to help me function. Unfortunately I seem to have lost the ability to seem collected and put together in front of coworkers and strangers. Now the checklists, sticky notes, alerts and alarms that use to help me save face are just enough to keep me from failing completely as I blunder along.
*sigh*
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Progress
We got about 6 inches of snow today so I spent the day inside cuddling with my hubby & clearing out the guest room to begin nursery preparations. We've begun to shop for furniture and it's beginning to take shape.
Took a few new photos today because I've been getting more comments and stares lately.
I didn't think I had gotten much bigger... but it seems I was wrong :)
(week 27)
(week 20)
(week 13)
Took a few new photos today because I've been getting more comments and stares lately.
I didn't think I had gotten much bigger... but it seems I was wrong :)
(week 27)
(week 20)
(week 13)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
No news is good news
(week 27)
Made it through the holidays in fair shape and have a library worth of books to show for it. We must have brought home at least 30lbs in reading materials alone. It's amazing how quickly I'm going through all of them though, I'm absorbing as much information about labor and infant care as I can I it's beginning to help. Still not looking forward to any of it, but reaching a point where I'm more calm and it doesn't seems so scary and impossible. It's not going to be easy, but I'm confident we'll get past it and it will be worth the effort.
This is a HUGE step.
We even got the courage up to walk into a Babies R Us to explore the baby gear first hand. It was a bit disappointing in some respects since the quality of the products and the level of service both left much to be desire... but it was still really helpful. We'll be buying most of the gear online, through craigslist, or at consignment events so we wanted to have an idea of what we liked and what we were really looking for.
We still don't have a formal registry set up, but we are getting much closer.
90 days left to go. It's starting to seem very close now, and we are both beginning to get excited :)
Made it through the holidays in fair shape and have a library worth of books to show for it. We must have brought home at least 30lbs in reading materials alone. It's amazing how quickly I'm going through all of them though, I'm absorbing as much information about labor and infant care as I can I it's beginning to help. Still not looking forward to any of it, but reaching a point where I'm more calm and it doesn't seems so scary and impossible. It's not going to be easy, but I'm confident we'll get past it and it will be worth the effort.
This is a HUGE step.
We even got the courage up to walk into a Babies R Us to explore the baby gear first hand. It was a bit disappointing in some respects since the quality of the products and the level of service both left much to be desire... but it was still really helpful. We'll be buying most of the gear online, through craigslist, or at consignment events so we wanted to have an idea of what we liked and what we were really looking for.
We still don't have a formal registry set up, but we are getting much closer.
90 days left to go. It's starting to seem very close now, and we are both beginning to get excited :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dispatch reinforcements!
Support needed immediately!
(week 25)
Okay... I'm obviously in a goofy mood but seriously... I'm buying a bra every two weeks - this is just silly.
(week 25)
Okay... I'm obviously in a goofy mood but seriously... I'm buying a bra every two weeks - this is just silly.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Holy Charley Horse
Things are still going well. I managed to only plump up a slight bit over the Thanksgiving holiday which took some willpower and effort on my part. Well, that and four solid days of walking around LA probably helped a bit too.
Still feeling pretty good - even impressing my coworkers with my energy and willingness to 'hang tough' at the late night holiday parties. I'll admit it's a very different perspective to be the sober one in the crowd, but it's been fun none-the-less and I feel good right now, so I'm eager to take advantage of all the social activities I can fit into my calendar. I have a feeling that I may be in for some tougher times in the months to come.
As a bit of foreshadowing I'm beginning to ache at the end of the day as my hips and knees soften up from the hormones and my back always feels like it needs to crack, but I don't have enough range of motion to pop it anymore. The toughest part so far has been the heartburn and the vicious charley horse cramps that wake me up from a dead sleep.
Got me wondering the other day about how odd that term "charley horse" really is, so I did a little research and what I found out is... no one seems to really know the origin. It's an American colloquialism that seems to be rooted in baseball, but that's about all the research seems to agree on. Here are some of the more common theories which I found pretty amusing :
- A lame horse named Charley pulled the roller on the Chicago White Sox ballpark in the 1890s. That's the most commonly repeated version but appears to be false because the phrase appears to be older than the horse.
- Policemen in 17th century England were supposed to be called Charleys and the term migrated to America. The amount of walking the police were required to do gave them aching legs. This seems fanciful. I can't confirm the use of the term Charleys for police in England or America and there seems nothing to explain the link with baseball.
- The pitcher Charley Radbourne was nicknamed Old Hoss. He got cramp during a baseball game in the 1880s. After that baseball players refered to leg cramps as "Charley Hoss". This at least is plausible and has no obvious fault to rule it out, but that's not enough to prove it is the origin.
Still feeling pretty good - even impressing my coworkers with my energy and willingness to 'hang tough' at the late night holiday parties. I'll admit it's a very different perspective to be the sober one in the crowd, but it's been fun none-the-less and I feel good right now, so I'm eager to take advantage of all the social activities I can fit into my calendar. I have a feeling that I may be in for some tougher times in the months to come.
As a bit of foreshadowing I'm beginning to ache at the end of the day as my hips and knees soften up from the hormones and my back always feels like it needs to crack, but I don't have enough range of motion to pop it anymore. The toughest part so far has been the heartburn and the vicious charley horse cramps that wake me up from a dead sleep.
Got me wondering the other day about how odd that term "charley horse" really is, so I did a little research and what I found out is... no one seems to really know the origin. It's an American colloquialism that seems to be rooted in baseball, but that's about all the research seems to agree on. Here are some of the more common theories which I found pretty amusing :
- A lame horse named Charley pulled the roller on the Chicago White Sox ballpark in the 1890s. That's the most commonly repeated version but appears to be false because the phrase appears to be older than the horse.
- Policemen in 17th century England were supposed to be called Charleys and the term migrated to America. The amount of walking the police were required to do gave them aching legs. This seems fanciful. I can't confirm the use of the term Charleys for police in England or America and there seems nothing to explain the link with baseball.
- The pitcher Charley Radbourne was nicknamed Old Hoss. He got cramp during a baseball game in the 1880s. After that baseball players refered to leg cramps as "Charley Hoss". This at least is plausible and has no obvious fault to rule it out, but that's not enough to prove it is the origin.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Baby Enough
(Week 23)
Okay... I suck at interior decorating and I'm even worse at setting up a nursery. I still can't bring myself to dive in and start the gear shopping. The idea of Babies R Us gives me hives and online shopping is slow and tedious. I just want to walk in somewhere and walk out an hour later with everything I need - is that even possible?
I'm having trouble getting in the mood and my baby phobias make it hard to sort through swatches of pastel choo choo trains and tweety birds, so I'm trying to focus on artwork first for inspiration. I've latched on to a few that border on creepy, so I'm going to ask for some outside opinions.
Are any of these 'baby enough'?
Okay... I suck at interior decorating and I'm even worse at setting up a nursery. I still can't bring myself to dive in and start the gear shopping. The idea of Babies R Us gives me hives and online shopping is slow and tedious. I just want to walk in somewhere and walk out an hour later with everything I need - is that even possible?
I'm having trouble getting in the mood and my baby phobias make it hard to sort through swatches of pastel choo choo trains and tweety birds, so I'm trying to focus on artwork first for inspiration. I've latched on to a few that border on creepy, so I'm going to ask for some outside opinions.
Are any of these 'baby enough'?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Careful What You Wish For
(week 21)
I've felt subtle squirming sensations since about 12 weeks, but nothing too noticeable and I couldn't quite be certain it was baby moving and not just digestion. About three weeks ago it started to be pretty obvious the feelings were something new. It catches me by surprise usually about a half hour after eating.
Blaine has been pretty jealous of this and can't wait to feel it himself. He lays his hand on my belly and leans in close to talk to him and make him stir. No luck until just a few days ago when he felt the little kicks for the first time.
Blaine's absolutely ecstatic, but I'm starting to regret rushing these milestones. It's like that moment somehow transformed the bean into the lord of the dance and now the little guy is preforming a tap dance routine on my bladder every 40mins or so.
Something tells me these little numbers just get more frequent and uncomfortable from here.
I've felt subtle squirming sensations since about 12 weeks, but nothing too noticeable and I couldn't quite be certain it was baby moving and not just digestion. About three weeks ago it started to be pretty obvious the feelings were something new. It catches me by surprise usually about a half hour after eating.
Blaine has been pretty jealous of this and can't wait to feel it himself. He lays his hand on my belly and leans in close to talk to him and make him stir. No luck until just a few days ago when he felt the little kicks for the first time.
Blaine's absolutely ecstatic, but I'm starting to regret rushing these milestones. It's like that moment somehow transformed the bean into the lord of the dance and now the little guy is preforming a tap dance routine on my bladder every 40mins or so.
Something tells me these little numbers just get more frequent and uncomfortable from here.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
*WARNING* Curves Ahead
... I'm not kidding, don't read all the way through this if you're uncomfortable with too much skin.
So, I have to tell you, I haven't been entirely honest with you. I actually have had dozens of vivid dreams that I remember well enough to post about. The problem is that my dreams have been wildly violent. I was just worried that they would be too disturbing. The truth is, that's one of the big reasons I really thought we had a boy on the way. My theory is that these dreams are the result of my subconscious getting dosed with a bit of testosterone. If it wasn't a boy, then I just didn't have any good explanation for all the action, so I'm rather relieved about the way things have turned out.
I celebrated yesterday by going out and making my first baby purchase. Brought home a little Star Wars onesie for Blaine along with a pecan pie for dessert. I think it all made him pretty happy!
In the midst of prepping for our adventure out to LA, I got distracted in the studio again. Spent all night trying to work out how to do the rim lighting technique I use to love so much. I think I've almost got it, but it's REALLY hard to do for self portraits. I hope I get some brave mommas in the future who'll let me take pictures of them instead so I can really nail this one down.
Okay, without being able to tweak the lighting and frame the composition... I end up with this. It totally looks like Alfred Hitchcock & makes me giggle!
.
So, I have to tell you, I haven't been entirely honest with you. I actually have had dozens of vivid dreams that I remember well enough to post about. The problem is that my dreams have been wildly violent. I was just worried that they would be too disturbing. The truth is, that's one of the big reasons I really thought we had a boy on the way. My theory is that these dreams are the result of my subconscious getting dosed with a bit of testosterone. If it wasn't a boy, then I just didn't have any good explanation for all the action, so I'm rather relieved about the way things have turned out.
I celebrated yesterday by going out and making my first baby purchase. Brought home a little Star Wars onesie for Blaine along with a pecan pie for dessert. I think it all made him pretty happy!
In the midst of prepping for our adventure out to LA, I got distracted in the studio again. Spent all night trying to work out how to do the rim lighting technique I use to love so much. I think I've almost got it, but it's REALLY hard to do for self portraits. I hope I get some brave mommas in the future who'll let me take pictures of them instead so I can really nail this one down.
Okay, without being able to tweak the lighting and frame the composition... I end up with this. It totally looks like Alfred Hitchcock & makes me giggle!
.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Half Way
Always a noteworthy and bittersweet moment. I've never could decide about the glass being half full or half empty, since it's obviously both and that's the beauty of it.
Today is that day. We are halfway to becoming parents which means 5 months left to sleep in, read books, go out to movies, go out dancing and what.. what else do we need to do before we miss it because we can't?
It's hard to imagine I've still got 5 months left and it just gets harder from here.
It's scary to think we only have 5 months left to get everything ready.
It's too close and too far all at the same time.
Luckily on the day of this torturous cross roads, a wonderful distraction has presented itself in order to keep me from pondering the good and the bad for too long.
We had our ultrasound this morning and confirmed that intuition has won out... it's a boy! It's so exciting to know and really start to imagine what this new little person is going to be like.
Last night I dreamed of drawing this announcement on my board at work, so that's the first thing I did when I got in this morning! Kept me grinning ear to ear all day long! Pictures and such coming soon.
Today is that day. We are halfway to becoming parents which means 5 months left to sleep in, read books, go out to movies, go out dancing and what.. what else do we need to do before we miss it because we can't?
It's hard to imagine I've still got 5 months left and it just gets harder from here.
It's scary to think we only have 5 months left to get everything ready.
It's too close and too far all at the same time.
Luckily on the day of this torturous cross roads, a wonderful distraction has presented itself in order to keep me from pondering the good and the bad for too long.
We had our ultrasound this morning and confirmed that intuition has won out... it's a boy! It's so exciting to know and really start to imagine what this new little person is going to be like.
Last night I dreamed of drawing this announcement on my board at work, so that's the first thing I did when I got in this morning! Kept me grinning ear to ear all day long! Pictures and such coming soon.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Wishbone #2
(week 19)
I'm not sure how many of you are up to speed on your maternity literature, but there is often a tendency to equate fetal progress with the produce department. We've been through seeds, blueberries, raisins, beans, grapes, lemons, oranges, tomatoes and have now reached the honorable mango stage. Only this time they add all sorts of unpleasant details and describe it more accurately as a fuzzy mango covered in thick layer of greasy butter. YUM!
Despite the less than appetizing fruit reference, we are starting to get pretty excited. The fear and surreal disbelief are melting away and being replaced with full blown giddiness. Now that I can feel the little one squirming and stretching in there, it all seems much more real and possible.
Next week is the ultrasound which should tell us if we're expecting a boy or a girl, as long a baby isn't shy that is. So, the fun begins with the guessing game. I don't think either of us have a very strong preference, but it's like the super bowl and it just isn't any fun unless you pick sides and root for one team or the other, so right now, we both are guessing boy... but we'll see!
We pulled a wishbone last week and I won this time, fair and square! It will be a battle now between intuition which says boy and superstition which should grant me a girl, either way we can't wait :)
I'm not sure how many of you are up to speed on your maternity literature, but there is often a tendency to equate fetal progress with the produce department. We've been through seeds, blueberries, raisins, beans, grapes, lemons, oranges, tomatoes and have now reached the honorable mango stage. Only this time they add all sorts of unpleasant details and describe it more accurately as a fuzzy mango covered in thick layer of greasy butter. YUM!
Despite the less than appetizing fruit reference, we are starting to get pretty excited. The fear and surreal disbelief are melting away and being replaced with full blown giddiness. Now that I can feel the little one squirming and stretching in there, it all seems much more real and possible.
Next week is the ultrasound which should tell us if we're expecting a boy or a girl, as long a baby isn't shy that is. So, the fun begins with the guessing game. I don't think either of us have a very strong preference, but it's like the super bowl and it just isn't any fun unless you pick sides and root for one team or the other, so right now, we both are guessing boy... but we'll see!
We pulled a wishbone last week and I won this time, fair and square! It will be a battle now between intuition which says boy and superstition which should grant me a girl, either way we can't wait :)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Button Countdown
... not long now before my belly button turns inside out.
I'm really not looking forward to that day.
Does it hurt?
I'm really not looking forward to that day.
Does it hurt?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Halloween and such
(Week 18)
Weeks have gone by and I'm happy to say I have no real news to share. I've reached cruising altitude and all is well, feeling perfectly normal actually, aside from wondering how I'm going to manage to keep putting on my shoes and having an unusual urge to rearrange my furniture and reorganize all my closets.
October has been busy and just flew by in a wink. We fostered a few batches of puppies for a local rescue organization. It was wonderful to help out and good practice as well, but proved to be a bit too much for me right now given the long hour's Blaine's been putting in. So, we took a 'break' to focus on home improvements instead. We got some much needed shelving delivered and finally unpacked the entire camera collection for display (it's quite overwhelming in it's entirety). This freed up valuable storage space and led to a two week cycle of rearranging, unpacking & reorganizing... and repeat. It feels wonderful to make some headway and start to really get unpacked and settled, but it's a bit disheartening to see how quickly all the space we make just seems to get filled back up with stuff immediately - sometime is feels like we are digging a hole in the sand at the water's edge. I really just want a dumpster at this point.
At the same time, we got new doors and windows delivered. Our friend Bob helped us replace all three sliding doors in our sunroom and rewired the electric to boot. It's just the beginning of our home improvements but it's already made a HUGE difference in how warm the house is.
Halloween is always very popular among our friends and we often end up at many different parties for days on end with several costume changes along the way. This year we scaled back our participation quite a bit and opted opted to keep things simple and cheap and just do face paint for our one main costume Saturday night. It was still a lot of fun.
Next came preparations for a birthday party we threw for a friend this Friday. It gave us a reason to clean everything up which feels wonderful, but MAN was it a lot of work. Now the holidays are just around the corner.
So for baby news... feeling great, getting big and still having high intensity action dreams. I'm not eating as well as I could be, not exercising as much as I should and I've pretty much overdosed on maternity literature... bring on Month 5!
Weeks have gone by and I'm happy to say I have no real news to share. I've reached cruising altitude and all is well, feeling perfectly normal actually, aside from wondering how I'm going to manage to keep putting on my shoes and having an unusual urge to rearrange my furniture and reorganize all my closets.
October has been busy and just flew by in a wink. We fostered a few batches of puppies for a local rescue organization. It was wonderful to help out and good practice as well, but proved to be a bit too much for me right now given the long hour's Blaine's been putting in. So, we took a 'break' to focus on home improvements instead. We got some much needed shelving delivered and finally unpacked the entire camera collection for display (it's quite overwhelming in it's entirety). This freed up valuable storage space and led to a two week cycle of rearranging, unpacking & reorganizing... and repeat. It feels wonderful to make some headway and start to really get unpacked and settled, but it's a bit disheartening to see how quickly all the space we make just seems to get filled back up with stuff immediately - sometime is feels like we are digging a hole in the sand at the water's edge. I really just want a dumpster at this point.
At the same time, we got new doors and windows delivered. Our friend Bob helped us replace all three sliding doors in our sunroom and rewired the electric to boot. It's just the beginning of our home improvements but it's already made a HUGE difference in how warm the house is.
Halloween is always very popular among our friends and we often end up at many different parties for days on end with several costume changes along the way. This year we scaled back our participation quite a bit and opted opted to keep things simple and cheap and just do face paint for our one main costume Saturday night. It was still a lot of fun.
Next came preparations for a birthday party we threw for a friend this Friday. It gave us a reason to clean everything up which feels wonderful, but MAN was it a lot of work. Now the holidays are just around the corner.
So for baby news... feeling great, getting big and still having high intensity action dreams. I'm not eating as well as I could be, not exercising as much as I should and I've pretty much overdosed on maternity literature... bring on Month 5!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Downsides
(Week 14)
Really REALLY... NECK ZITS - that wasn't mentioned in the damn book!
Aside from developing acne that's worse than I ever remember having as a teenager; all is well. I finally found some energy this week and managed to clean up my house for the first time in months. Found all sorts of important things I was missing!
Got a weird dream fragment to share this week, it was another action flick but this time a recognized part of the plot from an episode of law and order.
I was exploring this abandoned factory building on a geocache hunt, finding the hidden prizes by GPS location and replacing them with my own trinkets. Suddenly I get the feeling someone is chasing me. I start racing through the place to find the exit and I realize my dog is with me. We run out onto the street and across this muddy construction site then pause to catch our breath when *POP POP*. Bullets whiz by into the dirt.
I look up and see a creepy guy shooting at us from a balcony of the factory. I start dashing for cover and frantically call my dog to follow. I dive behind this long red shape lying on the ground. Once I get behind it I realize it's actually a canoe (because every one stores extra canoes at industrial construction sites). I pull up the edge and crawl under coaxing my dog to crawl up on my chest so I can fit us both 'safely' inside. Then as I'm lying there with a 20lb boston terrier panting in my face, I begin to realize that an inch of fiberglass really isn't going to be any protection against a bullet. Suddenly my brilliant hiding spot seems a bit more like a convenient coffin.
*then I wake up*
On a lighter note... I'm working out the logistics of what I hope will turn out to be a really cool belly progression shot. Trick is trying to find something I'm comfortable showing my belly in that will actually fit for the whole adventure.
Here's a result from the first test:
Really REALLY... NECK ZITS - that wasn't mentioned in the damn book!
Aside from developing acne that's worse than I ever remember having as a teenager; all is well. I finally found some energy this week and managed to clean up my house for the first time in months. Found all sorts of important things I was missing!
Got a weird dream fragment to share this week, it was another action flick but this time a recognized part of the plot from an episode of law and order.
I was exploring this abandoned factory building on a geocache hunt, finding the hidden prizes by GPS location and replacing them with my own trinkets. Suddenly I get the feeling someone is chasing me. I start racing through the place to find the exit and I realize my dog is with me. We run out onto the street and across this muddy construction site then pause to catch our breath when *POP POP*. Bullets whiz by into the dirt.
I look up and see a creepy guy shooting at us from a balcony of the factory. I start dashing for cover and frantically call my dog to follow. I dive behind this long red shape lying on the ground. Once I get behind it I realize it's actually a canoe (because every one stores extra canoes at industrial construction sites). I pull up the edge and crawl under coaxing my dog to crawl up on my chest so I can fit us both 'safely' inside. Then as I'm lying there with a 20lb boston terrier panting in my face, I begin to realize that an inch of fiberglass really isn't going to be any protection against a bullet. Suddenly my brilliant hiding spot seems a bit more like a convenient coffin.
*then I wake up*
On a lighter note... I'm working out the logistics of what I hope will turn out to be a really cool belly progression shot. Trick is trying to find something I'm comfortable showing my belly in that will actually fit for the whole adventure.
Here's a result from the first test:
Sunday, October 3, 2010
New Title
(week 13)
Sorry, still no good dreams to share so far. I'm beginning to think I should change the name of this to something more appropriate. Perhaps I could call it "Restroom Ratings" so that I could give useful tips on which public restrooms are decent and which ones should be avoided at all costs. Seriously, I feel that's where I spend ALL my time anywhere I go. I really had no idea how much toilet paper it takes to keep up with a pregnant lady *thank you Costco*.
I've been recruiting a few friends from work and researching maternity portraits all week. I'm going to practice different poses and lighting options for myself and a few other ladies over the next 6 months so that I can build up a portfolio for maternity and infant portraits.
Below is a sample from the first light test this afternoon. I'll share the best ones as we go.
Sorry, still no good dreams to share so far. I'm beginning to think I should change the name of this to something more appropriate. Perhaps I could call it "Restroom Ratings" so that I could give useful tips on which public restrooms are decent and which ones should be avoided at all costs. Seriously, I feel that's where I spend ALL my time anywhere I go. I really had no idea how much toilet paper it takes to keep up with a pregnant lady *thank you Costco*.
I've been recruiting a few friends from work and researching maternity portraits all week. I'm going to practice different poses and lighting options for myself and a few other ladies over the next 6 months so that I can build up a portfolio for maternity and infant portraits.
Below is a sample from the first light test this afternoon. I'll share the best ones as we go.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
People makin'... take2
(week 12)
We're at it again.
It felt like we both held our breath for three months, but we just made it through the 12 week appointment this week and all is well!
Starting to feel a bit better, but fighting off headaches now and still logging record time on the couch.
Dreams are still wild - it's like an action double feature every night. Very busy, very complicated, but can't remember much of anything after waking.
We're at it again.
It felt like we both held our breath for three months, but we just made it through the 12 week appointment this week and all is well!
Starting to feel a bit better, but fighting off headaches now and still logging record time on the couch.
Dreams are still wild - it's like an action double feature every night. Very busy, very complicated, but can't remember much of anything after waking.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Front Yard Hot Tub
Still only remembering fragments of action dreams.
Lots going on but none of it sticks with me after waking.
Had a dream about a week ago about rain.
There was a big rainstorm that left a puddle in my front yard.
I lost something in the puddle, but I don't know what it was.
My friends Rachel and Cathy came over to help me look for it.
The puddle was about 5-6 ft deep and warm like a hot tub but covered with fall leaves so you couldn't even tell it was there.
You'd just walk across the yard and drop into this warm pool of leaves.
We swam around with all our clothes on trying to find whatever had fallen in, but couldn't locate it.
Lots going on but none of it sticks with me after waking.
Had a dream about a week ago about rain.
There was a big rainstorm that left a puddle in my front yard.
I lost something in the puddle, but I don't know what it was.
My friends Rachel and Cathy came over to help me look for it.
The puddle was about 5-6 ft deep and warm like a hot tub but covered with fall leaves so you couldn't even tell it was there.
You'd just walk across the yard and drop into this warm pool of leaves.
We swam around with all our clothes on trying to find whatever had fallen in, but couldn't locate it.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Costner Concussion
Here's a funny one from last night, think it has to do with having several house guests all weekend.
I was at some event in a very large building and heading to the bathroom. There is only one small room. I get there just behind Kevin Costner. After standing there about 20mins I give up on waiting and head off to find the next bath room. Every one I go to is occupied with a long line of people waiting to get in. Hours later I'm desperate. I head to the porta-jon outside in the far courtyard. It's a long hike and I have to tip-toe at this point. It's empty!!! But just before I get there Kevin Costner comes running up again and jumps in front of me to open the door and use it himself.
I don't think so! I lean down and pull his ankles out from under him (like that's a simple solution to this type of encounter). He falls backwards, knocks his head on the ground and passes out.
Woke up very satisfied with myself and giggling, but couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough!
I was at some event in a very large building and heading to the bathroom. There is only one small room. I get there just behind Kevin Costner. After standing there about 20mins I give up on waiting and head off to find the next bath room. Every one I go to is occupied with a long line of people waiting to get in. Hours later I'm desperate. I head to the porta-jon outside in the far courtyard. It's a long hike and I have to tip-toe at this point. It's empty!!! But just before I get there Kevin Costner comes running up again and jumps in front of me to open the door and use it himself.
I don't think so! I lean down and pull his ankles out from under him (like that's a simple solution to this type of encounter). He falls backwards, knocks his head on the ground and passes out.
Woke up very satisfied with myself and giggling, but couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Action
Last night I dreamt I was in an action film.
The details faded quickly. I can't remember if I was a witness under protection or an asset in custody. There was much running through this large building maybe an office building or a school. Lots of rooms and stairways. Even a car chase through a parking garage at one point. In the end, my two 'handlers' and I made it to the safe house which was a big open loft style penthouse. Not sure why I was assigned two protectors - it seemed like overkill, but they were both easy on the eyes so i wasn't going to complain.
The details faded quickly. I can't remember if I was a witness under protection or an asset in custody. There was much running through this large building maybe an office building or a school. Lots of rooms and stairways. Even a car chase through a parking garage at one point. In the end, my two 'handlers' and I made it to the safe house which was a big open loft style penthouse. Not sure why I was assigned two protectors - it seemed like overkill, but they were both easy on the eyes so i wasn't going to complain.
Unplugged
Dream fragment from 7/17:
Sleepless night.
I've been dizzy for almost two weeks and starting to feel disoriented even in my dreams.
Half awake half asleep feeling more tired than if I had just stayed up all night.
I had this weird delusion that I could see the 'cords' creeping up around the bed.
I knew that if I could just fall asleep that the cords (thick alien-looking cables) would be able to attach to recharge me.
I found it odd that I'd never noticed them before.
It was like I always knew they were there, but I'd never been conscious so close to sleep that I was able to actually see them creeping up to plug in.
Very strange... never actually fell asleep that night.
Sleepless night.
I've been dizzy for almost two weeks and starting to feel disoriented even in my dreams.
Half awake half asleep feeling more tired than if I had just stayed up all night.
I had this weird delusion that I could see the 'cords' creeping up around the bed.
I knew that if I could just fall asleep that the cords (thick alien-looking cables) would be able to attach to recharge me.
I found it odd that I'd never noticed them before.
It was like I always knew they were there, but I'd never been conscious so close to sleep that I was able to actually see them creeping up to plug in.
Very strange... never actually fell asleep that night.
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