All Grown Up

(Week 32)

I once thought achieving "grown-up" status was as simple as moving out and signing your first rental agreement. I always looked forward to my 30th birthday because I imagined that by then I would have acquired grace and poise. When it came to parenthood, I assumed all those parents around me were just more mature and put together than me. Turns out I was wrong. They are just people with kids and sometimes they are just as big a kid themselves.

I've been in a few situations now when I'm in a public place with crying babies and someone will look me dead in the eye and say "Are you ready for that"?

Truth is, I'm not "ready" and I'm never gonna be, but I'll adapt, I'll cope and I'll get by just fine.

We just finished a birthing class at the hospital and I found it amusing that I was able to come to grips with my fears of labor and delivery pretty easily, but when they briefly covered infant care I literally broke out in a cold sweat. When everyone was watching the videos of the newborn homecomings with excitement and giddiness I was starting to employ some of our new pain management techniques to go to my 'happy place' and avoid the 'fear cycle'.

It will be fine, I know I'll figure it out, but there is no preparing for this bit, it's just diving in a doing.

I don't have baby dreams.

Instead I still have high octane adventure dreams of complex plots in exotic lands, but no baby dreams. I think it's just because I have zero experience to draw from. I have NO idea what to expect and no expectations for what it may be like, but I do seem to be preparing myself for a fast paced adventure filled with pitfalls and split second decisions.

Maybe I should add a fedora and bullwhip to my baby registry, too bad no one would get the joke but me... and maybe you now :)

So, for now I've set aside the library of baby books and decided to focus on what I can do to cater to my nesting instinct. For me apparently this means investing in wood furniture and a Mazda CX9. I'm really excited! I may not know how to burp this kid, but I'm confident he'll have a nice dresser that should last a lifetime, a TV center that he can't get into, and a car big enough to hold him, our dog, and all of our camping gear!

This all calms me by making me feel a bit more grown-up and prepared even though it really is just a state of mind.

I have the dumb

(week 31)



For months people have been making jokes about 'pregnesia' and 'baby brain' and I've just laughed because forgetfulness and lack of attention are just a way of life for me. Sure, it's nice to have an excuse why I've lost my keys, misplaced my wallet, forgotten my phone or left my purse behind - but that's just me on a good day. On a bad day I misplace my snowboard, leave my camera on a rock, completely lose my car and forget where I left my dog.

What has been regrettably obvious for weeks though is my new talent for dropping things. It's really a cruel side effect. Seems as though right when bending over to pick things up became virtually impossible, I began dropping just about everything I touched. Ir's not just drop either, it's more like things launch out of my hand as if there is some sort of eject button hidden in my palm.

I woke up a few days ago with the alarm clock blaring and launched it off the nightstand when I tried to shut it off, then dropped the glass of water as I reached out to take a sip, pulled the lamp over when I tried to turn it on and managed to knock over all the books as I tried to get up to clean up the mess. This is typical! I was always a bit clumsy and absent minded but now I'm a slapstick comedy routine.

I thought all this was bad enough, but over the last few days - it happened... the baby ate my brain!

I suddenly lost all my energy, started napping again and suddenly got DUMB!

I really didn't think I could get any worse, but I DID! It's completely mortifying. At work I'm scheduling meetings for things we did the day before and accusing people of neglecting to loop me in on things we just met about. I feel like an Alzheimer's patient roaming the halls and I'm a friggin Project Manager!!! Everyone is looking to me to tell them what to do next and I don't know what day it is or what what we just did!!!

Ugh.

I have the dumb and it is mighty!

Luckily I have spent years developing systems to allow me to thrive in my forgetfulness. So, I already have tools in place to help me function. Unfortunately I seem to have lost the ability to seem collected and put together in front of coworkers and strangers. Now the checklists, sticky notes, alerts and alarms that use to help me save face are just enough to keep me from failing completely as I blunder along.

*sigh*

Progress

We got about 6 inches of snow today so I spent the day inside cuddling with my hubby & clearing out the guest room to begin nursery preparations. We've begun to shop for furniture and it's beginning to take shape.

Took a few new photos today because I've been getting more comments and stares lately.
I didn't think I had gotten much bigger... but it seems I was wrong :)

(week 27)


(week 20)


(week 13)

No news is good news

(week 27)

Made it through the holidays in fair shape and have a library worth of books to show for it. We must have brought home at least 30lbs in reading materials alone. It's amazing how quickly I'm going through all of them though, I'm absorbing as much information about labor and infant care as I can I it's beginning to help. Still not looking forward to any of it, but reaching a point where I'm more calm and it doesn't seems so scary and impossible. It's not going to be easy, but I'm confident we'll get past it and it will be worth the effort.

This is a HUGE step.

We even got the courage up to walk into a Babies R Us to explore the baby gear first hand. It was a bit disappointing in some respects since the quality of the products and the level of service both left much to be desire... but it was still really helpful. We'll be buying most of the gear online, through craigslist, or at consignment events so we wanted to have an idea of what we liked and what we were really looking for.

We still don't have a formal registry set up, but we are getting much closer.

90 days left to go. It's starting to seem very close now, and we are both beginning to get excited :)

Dispatch reinforcements!

Support needed immediately!
(week 25)



Okay... I'm obviously in a goofy mood but seriously... I'm buying a bra every two weeks - this is just silly.

Holy Charley Horse

Things are still going well. I managed to only plump up a slight bit over the Thanksgiving holiday which took some willpower and effort on my part. Well, that and four solid days of walking around LA probably helped a bit too.

Still feeling pretty good - even impressing my coworkers with my energy and willingness to 'hang tough' at the late night holiday parties. I'll admit it's a very different perspective to be the sober one in the crowd, but it's been fun none-the-less and I feel good right now, so I'm eager to take advantage of all the social activities I can fit into my calendar. I have a feeling that I may be in for some tougher times in the months to come.

As a bit of foreshadowing I'm beginning to ache at the end of the day as my hips and knees soften up from the hormones and my back always feels like it needs to crack, but I don't have enough range of motion to pop it anymore. The toughest part so far has been the heartburn and the vicious charley horse cramps that wake me up from a dead sleep.

Got me wondering the other day about how odd that term "charley horse" really is, so I did a little research and what I found out is... no one seems to really know the origin. It's an American colloquialism that seems to be rooted in baseball, but that's about all the research seems to agree on. Here are some of the more common theories which I found pretty amusing :

- A lame horse named Charley pulled the roller on the Chicago White Sox ballpark in the 1890s. That's the most commonly repeated version but appears to be false because the phrase appears to be older than the horse.

- Policemen in 17th century England were supposed to be called Charleys and the term migrated to America. The amount of walking the police were required to do gave them aching legs. This seems fanciful. I can't confirm the use of the term Charleys for police in England or America and there seems nothing to explain the link with baseball.

- The pitcher Charley Radbourne was nicknamed Old Hoss. He got cramp during a baseball game in the 1880s. After that baseball players refered to leg cramps as "Charley Hoss". This at least is plausible and has no obvious fault to rule it out, but that's not enough to prove it is the origin.

Baby Enough

(Week 23)

Okay... I suck at interior decorating and I'm even worse at setting up a nursery. I still can't bring myself to dive in and start the gear shopping. The idea of Babies R Us gives me hives and online shopping is slow and tedious. I just want to walk in somewhere and walk out an hour later with everything I need - is that even possible?

I'm having trouble getting in the mood and my baby phobias make it hard to sort through swatches of pastel choo choo trains and tweety birds, so I'm trying to focus on artwork first for inspiration. I've latched on to a few that border on creepy, so I'm going to ask for some outside opinions.

Are any of these 'baby enough'?

Careful What You Wish For

(week 21)



I've felt subtle squirming sensations since about 12 weeks, but nothing too noticeable and I couldn't quite be certain it was baby moving and not just digestion. About three weeks ago it started to be pretty obvious the feelings were something new. It catches me by surprise usually about a half hour after eating.

Blaine has been pretty jealous of this and can't wait to feel it himself. He lays his hand on my belly and leans in close to talk to him and make him stir. No luck until just a few days ago when he felt the little kicks for the first time.

Blaine's absolutely ecstatic, but I'm starting to regret rushing these milestones. It's like that moment somehow transformed the bean into the lord of the dance and now the little guy is preforming a tap dance routine on my bladder every 40mins or so.

Something tells me these little numbers just get more frequent and uncomfortable from here.

*WARNING* Curves Ahead

... I'm not kidding, don't read all the way through this if you're uncomfortable with too much skin.

So, I have to tell you, I haven't been entirely honest with you. I actually have had dozens of vivid dreams that I remember well enough to post about. The problem is that my dreams have been wildly violent. I was just worried that they would be too disturbing. The truth is, that's one of the big reasons I really thought we had a boy on the way. My theory is that these dreams are the result of my subconscious getting dosed with a bit of testosterone. If it wasn't a boy, then I just didn't have any good explanation for all the action, so I'm rather relieved about the way things have turned out.

I celebrated yesterday by going out and making my first baby purchase. Brought home a little Star Wars onesie for Blaine along with a pecan pie for dessert. I think it all made him pretty happy!

In the midst of prepping for our adventure out to LA, I got distracted in the studio again. Spent all night trying to work out how to do the rim lighting technique I use to love so much. I think I've almost got it, but it's REALLY hard to do for self portraits. I hope I get some brave mommas in the future who'll let me take pictures of them instead so I can really nail this one down.




Okay, without being able to tweak the lighting and frame the composition... I end up with this. It totally looks like Alfred Hitchcock & makes me giggle!










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Half Way

Always a noteworthy and bittersweet moment. I've never could decide about the glass being half full or half empty, since it's obviously both and that's the beauty of it.

Today is that day. We are halfway to becoming parents which means 5 months left to sleep in, read books, go out to movies, go out dancing and what.. what else do we need to do before we miss it because we can't?

It's hard to imagine I've still got 5 months left and it just gets harder from here.

It's scary to think we only have 5 months left to get everything ready.

It's too close and too far all at the same time.

Luckily on the day of this torturous cross roads, a wonderful distraction has presented itself in order to keep me from pondering the good and the bad for too long.

We had our ultrasound this morning and confirmed that intuition has won out... it's a boy! It's so exciting to know and really start to imagine what this new little person is going to be like.



Last night I dreamed of drawing this announcement on my board at work, so that's the first thing I did when I got in this morning! Kept me grinning ear to ear all day long! Pictures and such coming soon.

Wishbone #2

(week 19)


I'm not sure how many of you are up to speed on your maternity literature, but there is often a tendency to equate fetal progress with the produce department. We've been through seeds, blueberries, raisins, beans, grapes, lemons, oranges, tomatoes and have now reached the honorable mango stage. Only this time they add all sorts of unpleasant details and describe it more accurately as a fuzzy mango covered in thick layer of greasy butter. YUM!

Despite the less than appetizing fruit reference, we are starting to get pretty excited. The fear and surreal disbelief are melting away and being replaced with full blown giddiness. Now that I can feel the little one squirming and stretching in there, it all seems much more real and possible.

Next week is the ultrasound which should tell us if we're expecting a boy or a girl, as long a baby isn't shy that is. So, the fun begins with the guessing game. I don't think either of us have a very strong preference, but it's like the super bowl and it just isn't any fun unless you pick sides and root for one team or the other, so right now, we both are guessing boy... but we'll see!

We pulled a wishbone last week and I won this time, fair and square! It will be a battle now between intuition which says boy and superstition which should grant me a girl, either way we can't wait :)

Button Countdown

... not long now before my belly button turns inside out.

I'm really not looking forward to that day.

Does it hurt?

Halloween and such

(Week 18)

Weeks have gone by and I'm happy to say I have no real news to share. I've reached cruising altitude and all is well, feeling perfectly normal actually, aside from wondering how I'm going to manage to keep putting on my shoes and having an unusual urge to rearrange my furniture and reorganize all my closets.

October has been busy and just flew by in a wink. We fostered a few batches of puppies for a local rescue organization. It was wonderful to help out and good practice as well, but proved to be a bit too much for me right now given the long hour's Blaine's been putting in. So, we took a 'break' to focus on home improvements instead. We got some much needed shelving delivered and finally unpacked the entire camera collection for display (it's quite overwhelming in it's entirety). This freed up valuable storage space and led to a two week cycle of rearranging, unpacking & reorganizing... and repeat. It feels wonderful to make some headway and start to really get unpacked and settled, but it's a bit disheartening to see how quickly all the space we make just seems to get filled back up with stuff immediately - sometime is feels like we are digging a hole in the sand at the water's edge. I really just want a dumpster at this point.

At the same time, we got new doors and windows delivered. Our friend Bob helped us replace all three sliding doors in our sunroom and rewired the electric to boot. It's just the beginning of our home improvements but it's already made a HUGE difference in how warm the house is.

Halloween is always very popular among our friends and we often end up at many different parties for days on end with several costume changes along the way. This year we scaled back our participation quite a bit and opted opted to keep things simple and cheap and just do face paint for our one main costume Saturday night. It was still a lot of fun.

Next came preparations for a birthday party we threw for a friend this Friday. It gave us a reason to clean everything up which feels wonderful, but MAN was it a lot of work. Now the holidays are just around the corner.

So for baby news... feeling great, getting big and still having high intensity action dreams. I'm not eating as well as I could be, not exercising as much as I should and I've pretty much overdosed on maternity literature... bring on Month 5!

Downsides

(Week 14)

Really REALLY... NECK ZITS - that wasn't mentioned in the damn book!

Aside from developing acne that's worse than I ever remember having as a teenager; all is well. I finally found some energy this week and managed to clean up my house for the first time in months. Found all sorts of important things I was missing!

Got a weird dream fragment to share this week, it was another action flick but this time a recognized part of the plot from an episode of law and order.

I was exploring this abandoned factory building on a geocache hunt, finding the hidden prizes by GPS location and replacing them with my own trinkets. Suddenly I get the feeling someone is chasing me. I start racing through the place to find the exit and I realize my dog is with me. We run out onto the street and across this muddy construction site then pause to catch our breath when *POP POP*. Bullets whiz by into the dirt.

I look up and see a creepy guy shooting at us from a balcony of the factory. I start dashing for cover and frantically call my dog to follow. I dive behind this long red shape lying on the ground. Once I get behind it I realize it's actually a canoe (because every one stores extra canoes at industrial construction sites). I pull up the edge and crawl under coaxing my dog to crawl up on my chest so I can fit us both 'safely' inside. Then as I'm lying there with a 20lb boston terrier panting in my face, I begin to realize that an inch of fiberglass really isn't going to be any protection against a bullet. Suddenly my brilliant hiding spot seems a bit more like a convenient coffin.
*then I wake up*

On a lighter note... I'm working out the logistics of what I hope will turn out to be a really cool belly progression shot. Trick is trying to find something I'm comfortable showing my belly in that will actually fit for the whole adventure.

Here's a result from the first test:

New Title

(week 13)

Sorry, still no good dreams to share so far. I'm beginning to think I should change the name of this to something more appropriate. Perhaps I could call it "Restroom Ratings" so that I could give useful tips on which public restrooms are decent and which ones should be avoided at all costs. Seriously, I feel that's where I spend ALL my time anywhere I go. I really had no idea how much toilet paper it takes to keep up with a pregnant lady *thank you Costco*.

I've been recruiting a few friends from work and researching maternity portraits all week. I'm going to practice different poses and lighting options for myself and a few other ladies over the next 6 months so that I can build up a portfolio for maternity and infant portraits.

Below is a sample from the first light test this afternoon. I'll share the best ones as we go.

People makin'... take2

(week 12)

We're at it again.

It felt like we both held our breath for three months, but we just made it through the 12 week appointment this week and all is well!


Starting to feel a bit better, but fighting off headaches now and still logging record time on the couch.

Dreams are still wild - it's like an action double feature every night. Very busy, very complicated, but can't remember much of anything after waking.

Front Yard Hot Tub

Still only remembering fragments of action dreams.
Lots going on but none of it sticks with me after waking.

Had a dream about a week ago about rain.
There was a big rainstorm that left a puddle in my front yard.
I lost something in the puddle, but I don't know what it was.
My friends Rachel and Cathy came over to help me look for it.
The puddle was about 5-6 ft deep and warm like a hot tub but covered with fall leaves so you couldn't even tell it was there.
You'd just walk across the yard and drop into this warm pool of leaves.
We swam around with all our clothes on trying to find whatever had fallen in, but couldn't locate it.

Costner Concussion

Here's a funny one from last night, think it has to do with having several house guests all weekend.

I was at some event in a very large building and heading to the bathroom. There is only one small room. I get there just behind Kevin Costner. After standing there about 20mins I give up on waiting and head off to find the next bath room. Every one I go to is occupied with a long line of people waiting to get in. Hours later I'm desperate. I head to the porta-jon outside in the far courtyard. It's a long hike and I have to tip-toe at this point. It's empty!!! But just before I get there Kevin Costner comes running up again and jumps in front of me to open the door and use it himself.

I don't think so! I lean down and pull his ankles out from under him (like that's a simple solution to this type of encounter). He falls backwards, knocks his head on the ground and passes out.

Woke up very satisfied with myself and giggling, but couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough!

Action

Last night I dreamt I was in an action film.

The details faded quickly. I can't remember if I was a witness under protection or an asset in custody. There was much running through this large building maybe an office building or a school. Lots of rooms and stairways. Even a car chase through a parking garage at one point. In the end, my two 'handlers' and I made it to the safe house which was a big open loft style penthouse. Not sure why I was assigned two protectors - it seemed like overkill, but they were both easy on the eyes so i wasn't going to complain.

Unplugged

Dream fragment from 7/17:

Sleepless night.
I've been dizzy for almost two weeks and starting to feel disoriented even in my dreams.
Half awake half asleep feeling more tired than if I had just stayed up all night.

I had this weird delusion that I could see the 'cords' creeping up around the bed.
I knew that if I could just fall asleep that the cords (thick alien-looking cables) would be able to attach to recharge me.

I found it odd that I'd never noticed them before.
It was like I always knew they were there, but I'd never been conscious so close to sleep that I was able to actually see them creeping up to plug in.

Very strange... never actually fell asleep that night.

Random Fragments

Dreaming a lot lately, but not remembering most of them for very long.

-------
Not going to elaborate much on the about the guy that I picked up at a bus stop who had the strange habit of transforming into a welsh corgi. Suffice to say - it was interesting enough to remember.
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Had a strange one weeks ago that was like walking through a fashion shoot or music video - can't remember much, just the last image before I woke. There was a woman stretched out on a city sidewalk in a silver dress. The lighting was dark and dramatic. The styling was high fashion - like Versace ads or a Lady GaGa video. Her feet are closest me and she's frozen in time with a fierce snarl looking back at me while she seems to be crawling away. The odd thing is her shoes. She has on white patent leather ultra high heels - but there is no 'toe'. The shoes are just big stiletto spikes attached to her feet. I find it hard to take the pretentious scene seriously... I just grin to myself and imagine her trying to walk across grass. It makes sense that she sprawled out on the ground now.
-------
Last week I dreamt that I went back to Tennessee to spend time with my very first best friend from childhood. Most of the dream is forgotten but what stuck with me was that my best friend was still 7 years old. I remember trying to make sense out of that then I just got more confused since there were two girls there. I couldn't get a good look at the second one - she was a shifting shadow that seemed to move anytime I tried to look directly at her. Sapna had been my only close friend, so the second girl vying for my attention was very confusing. She seemed to keep morphing into other close friends from later in my life as I tried to get it to make sense... got too weird then and just woke me up at that point.
---------

What now

I'm fine.

I was sick for a bit, then I was sad... more sad than I expected, apparently hormones are powerful things. It wasn't focused like mourning. It was just general sadness over our loss of innocence and a sense of unattained potential. For us, this pregnancy was like buying a lottery ticket. It gave us license to dream up wild possibilities for our future that were drastically different from our current life. In the end, we never really thought we'd win, but it was the dream that was important.

I'd been expecting a poor outcome based on my dreams, my pain and the lack of symptoms; so it wasn't really a surprise. I had actually started this blog just as a diary for myself. After the first ultrasound it all began to seem real or possible. I tried to set aside my superstitions and start to wrap my brain around the idea that we were going to be parents. We got caught up in the excitement and shared the news with more people than intended. But, then... I tend to be share everything about my life, so I wouldn't have done anything different. My lesson is that while it helped me cope, it made it harder for those around me. I wish I had not put so many others through that. My family... well, I wouldn't face any challenge without them at my side, so sorry... but you're in for what ever comes our way. I knew we could handle it with support, but I'm not sure everyone we told was prepared to carry the burden. I feel a little guilty for causing any distress and concern and despite my open book policy - I can start to understand the merit of withholding information.

I've had enough people share stories so I knew miscarriage before 12 weeks was common, but I never knew HOW common. The data is confusing, they usually say that there is always a 10% chance but then some quotes state that first trimester miscarriages is as high as 25%, and that only accounts for the reported cased. Some sites postulate that the true number is as high as 50% if you count the number unreported or chemical pregnancies that end without the mother ever knowing. Odds like just makes you realize what a miracle parenthood really is.

Regardless... it was amazing how many women reached out to me to share their stories and let me know they had been through it too. In some ways I was sad that none of them had shared this before. It really was encouraging to hear the stories. Almost all of the women I know who've miscarried are mothers. Of course, there are some factors that skew that a bit, but it seems that most couples eventually succeed in having children if that's their goal.

So... when I can lift my head above the hormonal fog, I'm actually happy. I didn't think I'd ever conceive, so CAN I GET A HELL YEAH, cause that fear that I carried for so long is gone. Also, we were getting overwhelmed and felt pinched for time. Now we have an opportunity to get a little more prepared so things won't be so hectic. Most importantly... we know we're ready - at least for the first step.

That's the problem now. Before there was nothing to lose. No expectations, no real intention, we were expecting to 'give it a shot' and walk away perfectly happy regardless what the outcome.

Now... there's investment, emotion, risk... and baggage.
The challenge now is to be patient (something I'm notoriously bad at) and find a way to stay positive.

Did I mention my glorious husband talked me into investing in some professional photo equipment?
Nothing like chasing a dream for distraction... that and playing the lottery from time to time :)

Anyone up for a photoshoot?

Sad News

It was a good thing Blaine got to come today.

It was sad news this time... never a good sign when the technician's first question is "Have you had any bleeding?"

Those of you who have heard me interpret my dreams know this comes as no surprise - I was more astonished to get good news at the first appointment then to be told that we lost it this week.

It's not devastating, it's not tragic, but it is sad.

I know a few of you out there who know exactly what I'm going through, and you know I'll have more dreams to share with you at some point in the future.

She-Hulk

(week 11)

This week was intended to be a milestone. Blaine and I were going to go to the doctor to hear the heartbeat for the first time. The idea being that detection of a strong heartbeat represents clearing the hurdle of the first trimester. I thought it might also start to make this whole thing a bit more real for both of us.

I had intended to wait until after my appointment Monday morning to make my formal announcement at work. Then I got a call asking if I could reschedule since my doctor was out of town and the ones left covering were slammed. I was disappointed but found a way to reshuffle my meetings and classwork to make Tuesday afternoon work instead.

I couldn't help myself at work though, I went ahead and announced. It was really rewarding. People were very surprised and happy. My company is large, but news travels fast and ever since telling my teams I've had different people approaching me to confirm the rumors and congratulate. Even got my first belly grab - wasn't quite prepared for that. I love the girl that did it so it was okay, but it made me realize that I need to be more prepared for that reaction so I can implement an appropriate defense if needed.

I got another call at noon asking if I could reschedule again. This time I pushed back and explained how hard it was for me to make these appointments fit into my schedule in the first place. They were understanding and found time for me with a different doctor. So, I made it through an incredibly hectic work day and headed up to the appointment. Unfortunately Blaine couldn't join be because of the last minute change of plans.

Turns out he was lucky and didn't miss a thing. I spent another hour waiting around then went back for my appointment. The doctor was very nice and knowledgeable, she spent the whole time quizzing me about my medical history and plans for delivery. Then... it was over. I was very confused since the nurse had told me to expect the heartbeat test, but this doctor explained I had to come back in a week for that because it was too early.

I was really frustrated. I couldn't understand exactly who had screwed up. Did my doctor make a mistake when marking up info on my next appointment, did the scheduler misunderstand something or forget that I needed to be at 12 weeks for this, did the schedule changes screw things up so the equipment or technician wasn't available and they didn't want to admit that. What the hell? This was ridiculous! Did they really think I had the time and flexibility to change my appointment multiple times at the last minute AND come it twice for every visit!

I had to calm down... I couldn't afford to transform into she-hulk today. This was a really cute new dress and it would be a shame to tear it to shreds!

I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the idea that this inconvenience had a silver lining and that Blaine could arrange to attend next time around.

*sigh*


Craving this week: Egg and cheese croissants I love you!

Pet Peeve: Taking extra time off work because someone can't count

Lesson Learned: Beware of unexpected belly grabs

To do list: Brush up on my kung-fu to thwart unwanted belly grabs

Poem 1 : Matchmaker

Matchmaker


Why, hello Heartburn!

I don't believe we've met.

I hear you could be staying with us a few months.

Let me introduce you to my friend Tums.

I think the two of you could really hit it off.